There are, in fact, 24 things better than Kobe Bryant, so don’t jump the gun. ESPN got it right.
— The NBA on ESPN (@ESPNNBA) October 16, 2013
Here are 24 things that are awesome, and better than Kobe Bryant.
24. McDonald’s — $1 for a hamburger or $30 million for a basketball player?
23. Michael Bay movies — $30 million for explosions or $30 million for a basketball player?
22. Memes – They’re just so funny. I laugh at every one.
21. Parody accounts — Every single famous person needs a parody account.
20. Vine — Six seconds of shaky jumpcuts? Yes please.
19. Infomercials — So many great deals on useful products, the original ‘mercials are just a bonus.
18. Celebrity couple names — Cute and adorable.
17. Smush Parker — A very underrated role player whose teammates often weighed him down.
16. Dane Cook — With so many douchebag comedians these days, Dane Cook’s original approach is always refreshing.
15. Tom Cruise — An upstanding example of an all-american religious man.
14. Craig James — Politics, sports, homicide; is there anything the man can’t do?
13. Tim McCarver — The World Series isn’t really that big of a deal compared to the man breaking it down.
12. Adam Sandler — I love it when actors play multiple genders in a movie.
11. Ted Cruz — Someone had to step up and be America’s voice of reason.
10. Raccoons — They clean out your garbage so the city doesn’t have to.
9. Bees — Yes, the bees.
8. Jorts — A little less denim, a lot more breathing room.
7. Mohawks — I’m always surprised whenever a cool guys with a mohawk doesn’t have a job.
6. Bodybuilding — Shows what proper exercise and nutrition can do for you.
5. Fraternities — Building bonds and relationships that will last a life time.
4. The Twilight Saga — If only Kobe showed as much emotion as Kristen Stewart on the court.
3. Two and a Half Men — Where witty one-liners go to thrive.
2. Sarcasm — A great form of humor.
1. Lists — Journalism has been reborn.